MY APPROACH
Currently, there are two established approaches to treating insomnia: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Insomnia (ACT-I).
CBT-I is often considered the “gold standard” and is commonly used in clinical practice. In my experience, it can be very helpful. At the same time, it may unintentionally reinforce the idea that sleep is something that needs to be fixed or controlled. This way of thinking often extends beyond the individual and into the relationship — particularly affecting partners, who may try to help through advice, monitoring, or pressure.
ACT-I, by contrast, emphasizes letting go of control, cultivating acceptance, and developing self-compassion. This approach can be relieving not only for the person with insomnia, but also for their partner. One of its challenges, however, can be a limited explanation of how sleep works from a nervous system perspective.
The approach I use combines mindfulness, acceptance, compassion, and behavioral principles, while placing deep respect on each person’s nervous system and relational context. A key part of my work is supporting partners of people with insomnia — helping them understand their role, reduce pressure, and create a sense of safety in which sleep can gradually return on its own.
